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#21

(23-08-2021, 10:41 PM)Mr.Magoo Wrote:  Ha ha Dave. I didn't see that side of the joke. I was trying to say my aging ugliness fitted in quite well with those around me in the stand.But if i've got to explain, it obviously isn't that funny.

Hi Mr Magoo,
Welcome to the Ugly bugger's city stand and as you are a new surpporter and you seemed to have fitted in quite well and have now got a S/T to the city stand I would like you to join our own exclusive Ugly bugger's city stand social club and feel you are the sort of member that we are looking for to join with other ugly buggers ?as this is a fairly new stand we as other old gits and other ugly bugger's have started our our own club with in a club?
Our rule's are as follows with conditions.
1_you  have to be a old miserable ugly bugger
2_you must shout for the team wearing red & yellow ( if you have the puff )
3_ you must jump up when we score ( if your leg's can hold you up )
4_ you must be you self when the other side score ( see rule 1 )
5_ new members can join our club free of charge+ with no yearly subscriptions
6_Has I am the self appointed club chairman of the ugly bugger's city stand social club I would hope to welcome you soon to our club with in a club


This is not a rule of our club (with in a club ) but a tradition that new members bye the incumbent chairman a drink?
This on completion will allow you to tell other member's to bugger off if you are told it's your round unless asked by the 
Incumbent chairmen 
On behalf of our members we hope that we see you soon?

PS our club motto isugisme susti aguum ( translated for those that are young and thick,and smooth skinned it means )
Ugly buggers are best.in
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#22

(24-08-2021, 12:08 PM)Grey beard Wrote:  Hi Mr Magoo,
Welcome to the Ugly bugger's city stand and as you are a new surpporter and you seemed to have fitted in quite well and have now got a S/T to the city stand I would like you to join our own exclusive Ugly bugger's city stand social club and feel you are the sort of member that we are looking for to join with other ugly buggers ?as this is a fairly new stand we as other old gits and other ugly bugger's have started our our own club with in a club?
Our rule's are as follows with conditions.
1_you  have to be a old miserable ugly bugger
2_you must shout for the team wearing red & yellow ( if you have the puff )
3_ you must jump up when we score ( if your leg's can hold you up )
4_ you must be you self when the other side score ( see rule 1 )
5_ new members can join our club free of charge+ with no yearly subscriptions
6_Has I am the self appointed club chairman of the ugly bugger's city stand social club I would hope to welcome you soon to our club with in a club


This is not a rule of our club (with in a club ) but a tradition that new members bye the incumbent chairman a drink?
This on completion will allow you to tell other member's to bugger off if you are told it's your round unless asked by the 
Incumbent chairmen 
On behalf of our members we hope that we see you soon?

PS our club motto isugisme susti aguum ( translated for those that are young and thick,and smooth skinned it means )
Ugly buggers are best.in

Hi Grey Beard,

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I am honoured to be considered suitable material due to my radiant ugliness and grumpy demeanour and feel that I may have found my true home within a home, In the Ugly Buggers City Stand. You will be glad to hear I currently still have the ability, at my own pace, to jump up, shout and point an accusing finger when required. I shall of course abide by the clubs rule to purchase a beverage for the incumbent chairman at our first meeting. I shall endeavour to make contact in the near future.

Kind Regards

Mr. Magoo

Professional Worky Ticket
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#23

Sitting in the "ugly buggers City stand" next to Noah and his son James, I suddenly stood up and had a go at the lino for not being up with play and missing an offside. James turned around and said "that so reminded me of our time at the old meadow park" can James, Noah and I be awarded membership status?
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#24

(24-08-2021, 10:55 PM)Badger Wrote:  Sitting in the "ugly buggers City stand" next to Noah and his son James, I suddenly stood up and had a go at the lino for not being up with play and missing an offside. James turned around and said "that so reminded me of our time at the old meadow park" can James, Noah and I be awarded membership status?

Of course if you fulfill our rules and conditions, I remember that cock up by the lines man because I did exactly the same as you what a pilock he was. I nearly swore then but just stopped my self? Felt 20 year's younger standing in the T _End swearing my effin head off just like them young smooth face little bugger's now.,they will learn ?little sods..
Any way I'm starting to wined  my self up now so if any one wants to joined our club (within a club ) I will be taking your 
applications at  the Kettering game and will  more then likely be sat in the club bar on my own drinking San Miguel cause I'm that miserable bugger that  no one wants to come near??That's good really I hate younger buggers their always happy and smiling,!
You can recognise me by my grey beard and my belly.
Yours, 
Grey beard ? Chairman of the city stand  and ugly  old buggers social club ( club with in a club )

PS ,so glad you called that pilock a lineo? don't you just hate it when these moronic idiot's call them assistant referees ?what the hell's happening to the game their linemen or women for gods sake.
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#25

You've missed out lines-trans or lines-non-gender-specific. Apologies for my lack of knowledge about the different variations of what people want to be known as, let me know if you feel missed out.

In our ever inclusive world I believe that this role will attract even wider interest. Its a toss up which comes first: AI intelligence providing the first linesbot, or a dog with a flag (which will eventually be renamed lineshound or linesbitch, and eventually linestransdog or line-nongenderspecifdog)

By the time you've worked it out it'll be half time and you'll be shouting at yourself.

10 out of 10 for footballing zen
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#26

(25-08-2021, 12:58 PM)SHANDY LOVE MACHINE Wrote:  You've missed out lines-trans or lines-non-gender-specific. Apologies for my lack of knowledge about the different variations of what people want to be known as, let me know if you feel missed out.

In our ever inclusive world I believe that this role will attract even wider interest. Its a toss up which comes first: AI intelligence providing the first linesbot, or a dog with a flag (which will eventually be renamed lineshound or linesbitch, and eventually linestransdog or line-nongenderspecifdog)

By the time you've worked it out it'll be half time and you'll be shouting at yourself.

Shandy ,I'm all for all sorts of people being in our club ( with in a club , club ) but maybe it  might not.,  be their cup of tea so to speak. Trans and trans gender and even not so ugly or even middle age  grumpy women ( see what I did there ) can join ,but don't think its their sort of club ( within a club,club ) but if any one can fulfill the rule's and conditions of entry ,then by all means apply to me in person in the 1883 club before the game,but if drunk or sluring my words save it for another day ,after all I am a  old ugly and grumpy   bugger at the best of time's .
Shandy Love Machine ,I have in fact a IQ of  about 19 or is it 9 anyway I would just like too point out I haven't got a clue what the bloody hell you are on about in your post above ?

PS if you are trying to join ( our club,with in our club, club ) which I suspect ? I am so sorry to inform you that you are not old or ugly and grumpy enough to fulfill our entry-level at the moment ,I can only suggest  that you reapply in 20 year's time by which time I am very  sure that you will fulfill all of our conditions  to join our city stand old and bugly grumpy bugger's social club ,( a club with in a club ,club )

Yours 
Chairman of the so said  (club , with in a club , club )
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#27

(23-08-2021, 03:17 AM)Daveangel Wrote:  Welcome, Mr Magoo, good to have you on board!

I’m Dave and I was working on the Scoreboard Bar on Saturday. The older, uglier one not in a frock.
I’m also an insomniac.

Well done for finding the ground! Smile

Dave I was thinking how I can drum up new members for the city stand old ugly and grumpy bugger's social club ( a club , with in a club , club ) and thought of you ? Bear with me on this ,
You may be not old enough but being the self appointed chairman I can do  what I want ? I've already have had to turn a very clever Shandy Love Machine away ? Think he was trying to trick his way in to our social club with in a club ,club ,just like on the COF ?( that's not the real Lee in that photo you know by the way ? It's some one else ?god he must be really ugly to put some other bugger's photo up like that ,any way I'm getting away from what I was going  to ask ,oh yes I remember? Dave you said you were ugly,so I thought that if you are and you borrow that dress you could  apply for membership  ,this way you could satisfy some thing that I think that Shandy Love Machine mentioned in his post ? Just thinking that this could keep the Liberal and good doers off the   city stand ugly and grumpy old bugger's social club  ( a club , with in a club ,club ) I as self appointed chair will if you do wish to become a member with a dress I will of course not charge you  for  a drink  that is a tradition to the incumbent chairman .from new members .
Dave just asking , if Lee is really really ugly could you ask him if he wants to join with other ugly bugger's .If he's more  ugly then that bloke in the photo tell him  he's will get in easy.

Yours chairman of city stand ugly and grumpy old bugger's  social club ,( a club ,with in a club ,club )'
PS 
Dave is being a insomniac one of them people that dress up in rubber macs and eat loads of caramac chocolate? Just asking .

(25-08-2021, 12:58 PM)SHANDY LOVE MACHINE Wrote:  You've missed out lines-trans or lines-non-gender-specific. Apologies for my lack of knowledge about the different variations of what people want to be known as, let me know if you feel missed out.

In our ever inclusive world I believe that this role will attract even wider interest. Its a toss up which comes first: AI intelligence providing the first linesbot, or a dog with a flag (which will eventually be renamed lineshound or linesbitch, and eventually linestransdog or line-nongenderspecifdog)

By the time you've worked it out it'll be half time and you'll be shouting at yourself.
Just went through your post again and think I now understand ( I think? ) are you referring to men & women running the 
line's in a football match whether they are men ,women, gay or straight or if women have changed to being a male or vice versa ??Plus whether they should be called assistant referees or linesmen / women or even lineos
Shandy if I am wright ???????   Why the bloody hell didn't you just say it  in the first place ,the world's going to pot?
Does every thing have to be so politically correct ,it just make's me so grumpy god help us all .r

PS it took me longer then 45 minutes ,at least another 25  minutes extra time added on ?
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#28

(25-08-2021, 06:02 PM)Grey beard Wrote:  Dave I was thinking how I can drum up new members for the city stand old ugly and grumpy bugger's social club ( a club , with in a club , club ) and thought of you ? Bear with me on this ,
You may be not old enough but being the self appointed chairman I can do  what I want ? I've already have had to turn a very clever Shandy Love Machine away ? Think he was trying to trick his way in to our social club with in a club ,club ,just like on the COF ?( that's not the real Lee in that photo you know by the way ? It's some one else ?god he must be really ugly to put some other bugger's photo up like that ,any way I'm getting away from what I was going  to ask ,oh yes I remember? Dave you said you were ugly,so I thought that if you are and you borrow that dress you could  apply for membership  ,this way you could satisfy some thing that I think that Shandy Love Machine mentioned in his post ? Just thinking that this could keep the Liberal and good doers off the   city stand ugly and grumpy old bugger's social club  ( a club , with in a club ,club ) I as self appointed chair will if you do wish to become a member with a dress I will of course not charge you  for  a drink  that is a tradition to the incumbent chairman .from new members .
Dave just asking , if Lee is really really ugly could you ask him if he wants to join with other ugly bugger's .If he's more  ugly then that bloke in the photo tell him  he's will get in easy.

Yours chairman of city stand ugly and grumpy old bugger's  social club ,( a club ,with in a club ,club )'
PS 
Dave is being a insomniac one of them people that dress up in rubber macs and eat loads of caramac chocolate? Just asking .

Just went through your post again and think I now understand ( I think? ) are you referring to men & women running the 
line's in a football match whether they are men ,women, gay or straight or if women have changed to being a male or vice versa ??Plus whether they should be called assistant referees or linesmen / women or even lineos
Shandy if I am wright ???????   Why the bloody hell didn't you just say it  in the first place ,the world's going to pot?
Does every thing have to be so politically correct ,it just make's me so grumpy god help us all .r

PS it took me longer then 45 minutes ,at least another 25  minutes extra time added on ?

Yes.

What’s your bears name?

Sticking around a while yet, thanks to a gift from a generous angel.
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#29

I’m getting more convinced by the day that some of the users on here are AI

“There’s a mole. Right at the top of the circus. He’s been there for years.”
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#30

Intelligence?

Tiger Roar is always your friend http://www.tigerroar.co.uk/fixtures20232024.php

Comprehensive City press cutting archive http://www.tigerroar.co.uk/cuttings.php
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