[Grey beard]

Dear Chairman. It's very good to hear from you. Your seat is still vacant at the Grumpy Old Ugly Buggers City Stand (Club within a club). Being personally still a bit naive, and hence occasionally optimistic your presence has been missed I must say. Perched along the back row, there's currently an alarming amount of sobriety during the matches I've attended. Possibly to avert injury falling down the steps going to grab a beer or the necessary pee after consumption. Perhaps it's Winter coming and pee breaks need to be kept to a minimum. Anyway your experience and leadership is sadly missed. I hope you'll be able to attend again soon and lead the way. Kind regards Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo if you sit in the back in our G,O ,U ,B ,C ,S ( a club with in a club clubs club ) i would suggest that you fix a two inch pipe leading from your seat  leading to the gentlemen's toilet that is situated under the said stand and use gravity 
with the said pipe to empty your bladder ,to save the getting up and putting you self at risk of falling and of course missing the rest of the game?
There is of course one or two draw  backs that I can foresee
1  Health & Safety would most likely not let any one step over a two inch pipe,But let us frail old buggers to get up and   down a bleeding football stand after having one or two refreshing drinks? Just don't make sence to me.
2. If the above mentioned is not approved ,no matter, it won't stop your enjoyment of the game?just think of every time you have to get up to relieve your self (Hopefully not accidentally ) and other fans moaning about you getting up a gain, 
You tell tell them it's not your fault because you're old and that one day they will be having the same trouble so tell them to bugger off ? I love doing that.

3.  My only  league game @ home that i got to this  season was York City and i was my self sat at the back of our beloved stand ( end seat back row ) I nearly fell down the steps and I only had four  double OOs non alcoholic beers.

4  Mr Magoo l am hoping one of my daughters will be coming over for Christmas and stay for the day so we can spend some time together and I can bring my youngest grandson to his second game and his first league game,while she talks with my better half  (all being well ) keep up our standards of our club with in a club clubs club and hope to rejoin with all ..that are like minded ?see you all soon god willing.
Your ex chairman ( self appointed ) Grey beard.
PS my beard is now a lot shorter and my belly is a lot bigger,but I can still shout louder then most?keep giving the opposition hell.